Men tend to be OK with their mates but are often reluctant to seek help from professionals. It’s still a challenge for most blokes to even go to the GP, yet alone seek help with emotional issues from a professional.
Traditionally males have been brought up expected to be strong, not needing help. but there are times when all of us could do with someone to talk to and share our challenges.
There’s definitely more reluctance from men to open up and share their thoughts. More traditional and formal helping environments tend to make this even more difficult. That means people and organisations providing help for men need to be creative about how they engage.
Trust is THE most important thing. Find someone you trust that will give you honest feedback, not someone who just tells you what you want to hear or confirms you are stuck.
If you believe you have an issue, explore it with someone – a mate or family, or consider talking to a professional. There are lots of different ways to seek help nowadays – face to face, phone or online chat or a variety of helplines.
Find what works best and do it on your terms. Find your safe space with an individual or organisation who will work at your pace.
All sorts of life events can act as triggers for anxiety and depression.
Anger is part of a natural defence mechanism that projects frustrations out onto the world around them and is part of the ‘fight or flight’ instinct that we all have.
Anger against a person, against the system, against an organisation, against the past, at unmet expectations, at unresolved issues, at misunderstandings ….. the list goes on.
Anger acts as a barrier that prevents men from getting help. If people have trauma, they can be locked in a cycle of fight or flight. In general, boys tend to act this out more and that continues into manhood, especially if they have no one to talk to. Break the cycle sooner rather than later to have more appropriate control and fulfilment in your life.
Developing resilience and mindfulness is crucial, to find more productive ways to understand ourselves and paths to deal with our issues.
The deluge of flesh on display as temperatures rise and tops come off.
One of the twelve men who takes their life every day in the UK.
Feelings of pride and elation after manly physical exertion, like unscrewing a tight jar or pushing a broken-down car up a street.
The catalogue of stereotypes aimed at making you a manly man, proper bloke or a top lad.
To change the subject when a bloke says how he feels.
The practice of intensely analysing a situation but never seeking external advice or comfort.
As you search the Internet for counsellors, you'll notice many women. Many of them in Edinburgh. showing beautiful butterflies, scented candles, and peaceful water scenes.
I'm a guy. I get puzzled by stuff I don't understand.
I work with behaviours, thoughts, as well as feelings!
I work with the really tough stuff (like behaviours that you've had for years and feel helpless to change).
I'm understanding, helpfully challenging, a kick up the backside if needed .
Anger ? Pornography? Spiritual Issues? Sexuality ? Lashing out ?
It seems that many are looking for something distinct; something particular from a male counsellor. I won't leave you in unnecessary silence, I won't ask you to play with creative things, or do anything odd. You only have something to gain. Many in their 40's and 50's have said "I wish I understood these things when I was younger, my life would have actually been enjoyable" Expect something to be different.
Find out more about counselling in Edinburgh with Andrew